Some of the Funniest Things Said to Nurses

Laughing Is and Always Will Be the Best Form of Therapy

Whether inappropriate, inconsiderate, or just plain weird or whether it’s a fear of hospitals or vulnerability that comes with health problems and wearing a hospital outfit, nurses hear wild statements from patients’ mouths on a near-daily basis. Patients can say the strangest things.

Here are Some of the Things our Nurses reported hearing


1. If You Touch Me… I’ll scream!

Patients who say this might require some calming words beforehand to relax. Nothing better than someone who doesn’t want their body touched when something’s wrong with their body.


2. Have You Ever Done This Before?

While part of being a nurse is making patients feel like they’re being paid attention to and they aren’t just a number, it can be tough to avoid seeming insulted when a patient asks a question like this.


3. I am Allergic to Everything!

The key in this situation is to ask the patient to list off everything they can remember that they’re allergic to, or if you know what medication they’ll require, ask if they are allergic to that specific medicine or anything similar. Here’s a person who feels like the world is against them.


4. Are You married?

Nurses are in a position to help patients, which often gives the patient the illusion that there’s a deeper connection.


5. Okay, But You Have to Take Everything Off, Too!

Make sure to warn the other nurses and staff that there’s a patient that has a problem with boundaries.


6. 20 Years ago

One of our nurses asked an elderly patient “How long have you been bedridden?”

After a look of complete confusion she answered; “Why, not for about twenty years-when my husband was alive.”